The Hunter
I’m not into hunting or fishing. I retired from fishing at the age of 14 when I started feeling sorry for the fish. Some people claim fish don’t feel pain. Well, when they are thrashing about with a hook in their mouths, it looks painful to me.
As for hunting, I’ve never tried it. I’m not anti-hunting but I couldn’t shoot a defenseless animal.
Wait a minute. Actually, I have hunted before. Not deer or elk or anything like that. I’m a former hunter of…rats.
When I was a kid in New York, my friends and I would grab our BB guns and ride our bikes to the Bronx River. We would head down a dirt path, through all sorts of overgrown weeds and garbage to a clearing across the water from a sewer pipe. We would then throw eggs and tomatoes across the 40-foot wide stream towards the sewer pipe. Then we would wait.
It didn’t take long for some giant New York sewer rats to emerge. They would be sniffing around the debris and the new food items that had recently arrived. Then four or five of us knuckleheads would pick out a specific rat, aim and shoot at the same time. The rat that was hit would usually jump in the air and then scamper back into the sewer pipe. We would be joyous and laugh hysterically at hitting the rat. Unfortunately, we rarely killed any rats. Those things are tougher than a $3 dollar steak. Or Mrs. Mayhew, my fifth grade teacher.
My rat hunting career came to a close one overcast summer day. As usual, we targeted a rat to pepper with BB’s. We shot a particularly large rat and it barely moved. The angry rat made direct eye contact with me. For a few seconds I was paralyzed by fear. Nothing on this planet scares me more than rats. After locking eyes, the rat dove into the water. It was coming after me. I jumped on my bike and raced out of there. Lance Armstrong would have been proud.
Lessons were learned that day. If you shoot a rat use something more powerful than a BB gun. And always have a getaway plan.
Your Memories RSS Feed
Follow us on Twitter!
Join our Facebook Group!
